After filling my overnight bag with exclusively wet clothes that would just NEVER dry in the dryer, I left my house, a little sleepy but excited, nothing can stop me now.
On my way there, on the highway, a SUV speeds up behind me, I'm going about 10mph over the speed limit, but it's not good enough for this dumb gigantic vehicle. I decide to start going the speed limit at this very moment, you know it's not safe with the current weather conditions. The car finally gets around me but doesn't forget to obnoxiously beep for more than 10 seconds.
Then, some black ice comes up in front of me and my front tire slips. I almost hit a guardrail.
This is when I get off at a rest stop, because maybe it's time to stop and get some coffee.
I go to Starbucks (ugh) -- and wait on the ridiculous line. While I'm standing there, I see a woman behind me pointing to me and saying something to the man beside me. I hear her say "How many things did you kill to make your jacket?" Now, I'm wearing a fur coat, but it's fake, obviously faux fur, unless I killed a dozens of Dalmatians. I can't understand why, but I say to her "The only thing I killed was my bank account...right?" She looks confused. I guess she didn't say it directly to me, but I thought I'd lighten the mood, she looked so angry. And I didn't even buy this jacket, I got it for free. So I guess it didn't make any sense. I then say "It's fake," way after the grace period of a possible followup sentence. Eh, what can you do?
I exit with my vente-some other word-machiatto, and I'm on my way. Of course, I get on the opposite direction that I need to go and I don't notice until the next exit, which is Staten Island, where I live, where I came from. I just cancelled out my entire trip. Those twenty minutes could have never existed. I wish they didn't.
I go to Red Bank. I wait outside 3 storefronts and wait for them to open. No shops open on time. Waiting for stores to open makes you spend money elsewhere, like coffee shops getting a coffee when you already had a coffee, or later buying a water bottle at a diner so you can use the bathroom because you have to pee really bad from all the coffee, and then dropping the water bottle into a slushy puddle outside, along with my car keys.
I didn't find any costumes. I just ended up spending a lot of money finding things other people would love. So time well spent. I finally get to RoseLyn's and go to bed.
Well, I think it's time to go to bed tonight as well. Nickelodeon has officially transitioned from Nick at Night to Nick Toons. The entire cast of Dora the Explorer is staring at me, waiting for an answer.
Goodnight.
